A Prayer to the Gods of Science Fiction and Fantasy On Behalf of John Carter

Oh Ye Gods of Science Fiction and Fantasy!

I come before you a broken man. Years ago I had an inner child. This inner child made my parents despair because I would write fantasy novels instead of papers for my English class in high school. It aggravated my teachers in elementary school because I would pretend my pencil was a rocket ship, complete with sound effects. It annoyed my soccer coach because I’d rather sit down on the field and fantasize about flying than participate in the game. I can still remember organizing the entire family together in our front room, arrayed like the bridge on the Enterprise-D.

But my inner child is dead now. I can point to the exact moment it died, long after it should have. I held on to that childlike wonder until 2004, the childlike wonder of being transported to another place or another time or another universe not my own. Your fallen prophet, George Lucas, killed my inner child. But I have not abandoned the faith. I still read from your sacred texts, O Gods of Science Fiction and Fantasy. Since that horrible moment in 2004 I have discovered many wonderful new shows and books and graphic novels and video games and movies. But none of them held the same amazement and escapism that I was once capable of.

But I come to you with hope. For this year one of your earliest sacred texts is finally making the leap to the big screen. I speak, of course, of A Princess of Mars, by Edgar Rice Burroughs being adapted into Disney's John Carter. The character turns 100 this very year! And yet Burroughs’ Barsoom series is far too much forgotten these days, even if it has been explicitly acknowledged by those who have used its ideas for their own movies.

Despite the prayers of many of the faithful, it has languished in movie development hell since the 1930s, when it was almost the first animated film, by the Looney Toons guy no less. (Oh how different would cinematic history have been if John Carter of Mars had been made instead of Snow White!)

Though that is a longer exile to development hell than any movie I’m aware of, it was worth the wait. I acknowledge your mercy in deciding whose hands the granddaddy of all science fiction adventure would fall into.

Thank you, for granting the rights to Disney and Pixar! Thank you that your servant, Andrew Stanton, has written and directed it, the man who took a movie about a fish and a movie that was half silent movie about a small robot who cannot talk, and won two Academy Awards! He’s a big fan of the Barsoom books, too, so at least in your graciousness we have that going for the project. (You Gods were merciful when the project was NOT granted to Tom Cruise and John McTiernan back in 1992.) The music is being scored by Michael Giacchino. Initial reviews of the movie have been positive. I have much reason to hope, but for me hope itself is painful.

Because, as you know, so many other good science fiction and fantasy projects have not seen the light of day, or have been cancelled before their time-just this very day I was saddened by the loss of Terra Nova (Fox is obviously another of the devils sent to thwart your plans, as evidenced by their cancelling Firefly 10 years ago.) I worry for the general future of science fiction and fantasy in movies and on TV. Disney’s marketing of this adaptation of your early sacred text has been lacking, prompting criticisms from many sources.
At least there are those true believers among us who make good fan trailers for it.


But please. Please. It’s been so long since I’ve wanted to pretend I’m flying, or that I’m sword fighting with someone with the fate of many people in the balance, or rescuing the princess, or anything, really, like that. It’s been so long since I’ve experience the wonder of escapism, despite the fact that I still play Dungeons and Dragons.

Many of my favorite shows simply don’t hold the same delight to me I used to have. I genuinely wonder if the fact that I enjoyed Battlestar Galactica and Stargate: Universe so much was because I was in a darker place with regard to the kinds of stories I liked to watch. A few days ago, I even had to look up the subtitle for Star Wars Episode II, because I had so dismissed the movie in my own mind, apparently.

But this Friday, at midnight, all that might go away. So I implore you, I beseech you, I beg of you, Oh Gods of Science Fiction and Fantasy. I call upon all the wondrous creations you have given my imagination. I call upon the Weirding Ways of the Bene Gesserit Witches, I call upon the Deep Magic of Narnia, I call upon the mysterious technologies of the Tycho Monolith and its brothers, the Ansible, the Magic of the Istari Wizards of Middle-Earth, the collected wisdom of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the Three Laws of Robotics, the Stargate, the Jedi Council, the ancient rites of the Necronomicon, anything, everything, to Beam my inner child back from what feels so far away to me it might as well be The Phantom Zone.

I just want to feel like a child again. The second trailer for John Carter already gave my dead inner child a small, yet temporary, lease on life. But I don't want it to just be temporary. I want my inner child to fully resurrect. I know this is possible. One reviewer said "I didn’t know I still had an inner 12 year old in me, but there he was at the JOHN CARTER screening, hepped up on crack."

So I implore you, as one of your most devout adherents, but as one who has lost his way. In your reality spanning-power, bless that when I see it this Friday morning at midnight, that my inner child may be returned to me.

And also bless that enough other people will go see it that Andrew Stanton will be able to finish the rest of the John Carter Trilogy. [Those of you listening in on my prayer, this would be you.]

In the name of the “big three” science fiction writers, Robert Heinlein, Isaac Asimov, and Arthur C. Clarke (and of course invoking the name of J.R.R. Tolkien) . . .

Amen.

Can We Stop With the "Folklore" Doctrine Already?

Mormons are in the media a lot these days, what with Romney and all. Most of the coverage from the major news outlets (except the NY Times) has been pretty good. I've been particularly impressed with the Washington Post and CNN.

This article was released today:
The Genesis of a Church's Stand on Race

I give it 4/5 stars. It does a lot of things well.

1. Discussed the priesthood ban's origin. (Specifically that it was not from a single particular revelation.)

2. Accurately stated that blacks have always been in the Mormon church.

3. Stated that Mitt Romney can't actually change church policy.

4. Ended with a BYU Undergraduate talking about how Brigham Young had what we would now consider racist views, and that she a) learned it in a BYU class, and b) it doesn't bother her because people are imperfect (she implies that Brigham Young was not perfect, something I would agree with since he's not, you know, Jesus).

What does it not do well?

Well, I'll let you figure it out for yourself. Look at this interview with Elder Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, and maybe do a search for the term "folklore."

And I'm not the only one who's a little miffed at parts of this WaPo article. There are plenty of others. And yet more others.

Maybe I'll just let Margaret Young, a professor at BYU who has worked on a documentary about black LDS members titled Nobody Knows-The Untold Story of Black Mormons, have the last word. From her (public) facebook page earlier today:

"FYI, Professor Bott, though much loved by many of his students, is dead wrong in what he says in this article. I hope that my own students/former students recognize that what he says in this article is basically crap. I like what Darius says, am okay with what Don says (though I recognize that his words will not be well-received by many), but feel morally obligated to take a stand in opposition to Prof. Bott's words. If anyone doesn't recognize the problems with his take on the priesthood restriction, ask me questions and I'll answer."

Edits: I'm just going to keep throwing stuff up here as I am made aware of or other responses are posted. There are a lot of responses, and they keep pouring in.

In case you need something more official, here's a nice article from BYU Studies on the issue of the priesthood ban.

Here's another good link discussing the WaPo piece, the article it links to, and apparently there are genuine protests being planned at BYU. Oh, and another post about the WaPo piece.

Joanna Brooks has contacted a member of the BYU Religion Department who said "Brother Bott does not speak for BYU or the church and his views are his own." And the Juvenile Instructor has a post by Rachel Cope, who also teaches religion at BYU. Actually, the Juvenile Instructor has a fabulous page with a lot of other links about the priesthood ban, if you have a few hours to read.

Daniel Peterson has also posted a response. And a response to the responses to his response.

Another By Common Consent post.


The Deseret News and the SL Tribune chimed in.

And a blast from the past, Lester Bush's 1973 article from Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought. This article was pointed out to and read by Spencer W. Kimball in the years leading up to the revelation itself being received.

And now THE OFFICIAL RESPONSE. Actually, there are two of them, here's the other. *GLEE* Now I get to point at Bruce R. McConkie and say "that was unfounded speculation!"

If you could change human history in just one way, what would it be?

So we're reading "Pastwatch," by Orson Scott Card for my bookclub and I thought I would get some ideas from you guys as well. In the book future scientists send three people back in time to alter the course of human history around the time Columbus discovered the Americas, attempting to alter it for the better. Ignoring any grandfather paradoxes, if you could do the same, what change would you introduce to human history and why?

I have two thoughts. 1) Go back and give germ theory to Hippocrates (or some similarly important historical figure in medicine). The mere introduction of handwashing would be hugely important.

2) Send back a team that could give Alexander the Great and Aristotle, his teacher, printing presses and moveable type. By the time the Romans take over the Greek Empire later, the technology would be so widely dispersed it would be hard to annihilate it ever.

Thoughts?

Reasons Today I'm Glad I'm Not a Woman

I don't get creepy passive-aggressive notes on Valentine's Day from boys who don't understand the difference between pornography and looking good while being female.

I don't get denied a voice to speak about something that matters very much to me.

I don't have the possibility of moving to a state where medical rape is mandated for me under certain conditions.

I won't get fired for asking to do what is clearly the most medically-sound thing to do for my newborn baby.

Geez, this was a depressing news day for me. I mean, for Susan. And any daughters we might have in the future. And, well, you know, half of the human race!

Note: Nothing in this post should be taken as an indication that I'm anti-BYU Honor Code, pro-abortion, or anti-women-who-choose-not-to-breastfeed. I'm not.

Leaving the LDS Cult of False Expectations

Well, I had in mind to write this post, but then decided it might come across as arrogant. But when this article by Carrie Sheffield showed up in the Washington Post today, and is currently the most emailed article from the opinion section, I decided I would write this up anyways. Because the article gets almost everything so terribly terribly wrong about Mormonism. Or at least what Mormonism is supposed to be.

I want to make it clear up front that I understand that many people have experiences in the LDS church that mirror the ones from the post. But part of me gets very angry at those situations, because it’s not supposed to be that way. One of the major reasons, I suspect, that I’ve never had a crisis of faith in the church is that my family has always been amazing. We are able to discuss things openly. We are encouraged to read. We occasionally make fun of speakers in church, or teachers, or seminary instructors. (Just when they deserve to be made fun of, which to be fair happens to all of us at some point.) Dad once said that “no hallowed hand will stop the work from progressing” either. Recently we had a very good friend decide to leave the church, and while of course we were all dismayed, this friend is still in the rotation for Christmas presents, and will always be welcome at our house. My father sent him a half-joking email that basically said “Well, you’re still an Apple fan, right?” Haha.

Also, I married Susan. Turns out her family is absolutely amazing too.

As exhibits A-C, I give you what happened this Christmas vacation with her family.

Exhibit A. The two oldest grandsons got microscopes for Christmas. Science and thinking are encouraged in our family. The oldest son of Susan’s oldest sister is an astoundingly intelligent second-grader who plays games like “particle accelerator” for fun (he runs into a small hut with 2 balls-a helium atom, and comes out with, say, 8-an oxygen atom!). For Halloween he was a scientist, and couldn’t understand why everybody asked if he was a mad scientist. Just a regular old scientist, thank you very much.

Exhibit B. Two days after Christmas we went to the Museum of Natural History down in the Smithsonian Mall in downtown DC. The grandkids wanted to go to the exhibit on human evolution, and we took them. There was nary a discussion about how the science was false, or that the Bible/Book of Moses/Book of Abraham/Temple Ceremony disproved the exhibit, or that there was no death before Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden because they ate an apple after being beguiled by a talking snake. I’m sure someday the children will have good discussions with their parents about science and scripture, but it wasn’t December 26, 2011. That day was all science.

Exhibit C. For Family Home Evening we played a variation on the hot/cold game. Basically we’d sing a song, whether a church song or Frosty the Snowman or whatever, and the grandchildren would take turns trying to find the object. When they got close, we sang louder. When they got farther away, we sang softer. I kid you not, the object they were chasing after was a small, stuffed black sheep. My brother-in-law introduced the game saying “some families shun their black sheep, but in this family we go seeking after them.” He was not kidding. There was no joking smile on his face. He was serious. I was flabbergasted. I mean, I had just assumed that it was understood that we would not shun our own, that through example that lesson would be taught. But here was an actual object lesson on seeking after the black sheep! Oh that I had recorded it on my phone for you all to see!

So when Carrie Sheffield writes in the above linked article “but the family-values facade applies only if you stay in the fold. Former Mormons know the family estrangement and bigotry that often come with questioning or leaving the church,” that’s not true for many families. (At least she said “often,” and I accept that as true.)

When she writes, “the church I was raised in values unquestioning obedience over critical thinking,” that doesn’t resemble the church I was raised in. Obedience is important, sure. God’s house is a house of order. But the phrase “obedience is the first law of heaven” never occurs in the scriptures. In fact, I think Jesus rather pointedly disagrees in Matthew 22:35-40.

When she writes “Salt Lake City’s male gerontocracy told me to avoid books and marry” that doesn’t seem to jive with some of the things said by our leaders quoted here, in the Daily Universe, no less! Though my brother Stephen concludes (rather obviously, I think) “something within the LDS community disincentivizes female educational ambition” here. The times, though, they are a-changin’, as evidenced by this post by a good friend of mine who comes from a fairly conservative mother, but her mother still encouraged her to at least get a Master’s. (At least, ha!)

When Sheffield writes, “I met with a high-ranking Mormon leader who told me to quit reading historical and scientific materials because they were ‘worse than pornography.’” That doesn’t sound at all like the servant of a God who commanded us to learn about EVERYTHING and to read all the best books (D&C 88:79, 118). (I’m not doubting that there was some high-ranking leader that said that, just that he was wrong.) I have a much stronger testimony (from the Spirit, I think) of Hugh B. Brown’s statement “Preserve, then, the freedom of your mind in education and in religion, and be unafraid to express your thoughts and to insist upon your right to examine every proposition. We are not so much concerned with whether your thoughts are orthodox or heterodox as we are that you shall have thoughts.” This was quoted to me the first week of my bioethics class at BYU, and you can find the entire talk linked here at the BYU President’s Page.

I’m more sympathetic to the Dean of Religious Education not answering Sheffield’s growing list of questions. I don’t think it’s his job to answer every growing list of questions from every undergrad at BYU. But I’m sorry she didn’t take classes from the wonderful professors at BYU that I took from. Because, and this may surprise people, there are religion professors at BYU that aren’t simply seminary teachers on steroids. I took my first Book of Mormon class and had such a negative experience that a decade later I can still meet up with people from that freshman academy section and laugh at it (this happened to me 2 weeks ago). So when I signed up for religion classes after that, I did my homework and made sure I was taking from professors that would more suit my personal educational and spiritual needs. And, with the exception of that first Book of Mormon class, all of my religion classes at BYU were exceptional, mind-blowing, challenging, and factual (I now know Oliver Cowdery was likely a dowser, thanks to Spencer Fluhman)!

When she writes “my parents shut me out of their home for nearly five years because of religion, and some former friends shunned me,” I don’t know anywhere where any general authority said to leave the lost sheep out in the cold and let it die. Jesus certainly didn’t. Basic Christian Fail here. Far too many Mormons do this. But I dare you to find a general authority that would agree with the proposition “I should shun, kick out, never speak to, and have no contact with any children of mine that leave the church.”

When she writes, “Perhaps someday the church will not excommunicate, fire and demote people who want honest, church-wide dialogue about Mormon history and doctrine,” I really think that time has passed. Go look at the Mountain Meadows Massacre Book from Oxford University Press, or the Joseph Smith Papers project, or the fact that you can buy Rough Stone Rolling at Deseret Book. I was 12 when the September 6 events happened. And now I hate going to Sunstone Salt Lake City because any event with the September 6 turns into “who can get the biggest hit in on President Packer.” The other Sunstone meetings are much more productive, in my opinion. And BYU doesn’t kick professors like Charles Harrell out for writing a book like this one.

Professor Harrell also teaches seminary and institute. (There should still probably be more seminary and institute teachers like him, and less like the one I had in high school that accused me, a nerd that wargamed once a month or so, of cheating because I wiped the floor with the rest of my class in . . . you guessed it, a wargame, and that thought the movie Contact was great because Ellie Arroway ends up in heaven at the end…. Not even going there.)

I think that for far too many in the church have set up a false church. They think that their church says science is satanic, that it tells all of its women to only stay home and produce babies, that the prophets and apostles are infallible, never have disagreed, don’t currently disagree, never will disagree, and meet with the Savior weekly in the temple meeting Thursday morning, that all of church history is puppies and rainbows and roses except for when other bad evil nasty people attack the completely innocent and saintly Mormons and maybe the 116 pages incident, that polygamy was introduced and ended without a hitch, that anybody who is questioning the church in any way, shape, or form must be secretly a dirty sinning apostate because why would you ask questions unless you had been completely abandoned by the Spirit?!?, that the Book of Mormon civilizations were every Native American from the top of Alaska to the bottom of South America, that every prophet from Adam to Thomas S. Monson knew exactly everything that every other prophet knew, and that it all corresponds to the current correlated manuals, and that everybody outside the church is not going to end up in the Celestial Kingdom so we should shun them, even members of our own families, too bad for them.

I call this the LDS Cult of False Expectations.

The solution is to leave it.

Now, there are two ways to leave it. You can either (1) take off from the LDS church itself, or (2) you can get Mormonism right.

My family largely gets it right. We are largely what Mormons are supposed to be. When I was graduating from my MA program at the Yale Divinity School we had a barbecue at one of the other LDS student’s house with my family and the other families who were there. The host came up to me afterward and said “Carl, your parents are the kind of people Mormonism is supposed to produce.”

I’m so terribly sorry for all of those who grew up or are currently in environments, whether a ward, a seminary or institue class, or a family, or whatever, that adheres to and teaches the principles of the LDS Cult of False Expectations. I'm sorry that many Mormons aren't what they are supposed to be. In many ways, Sheffield’s article should be a wake-up call to Mormons in general. Nay, a call to repentance! We’re not getting our own religion right. It’s not supposed to be that way. I was blessed enough to be born into, and later to marry into, a family that largely, I think, does get it right. But we have work to do ourselves. Everybody does. The church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints. And no, I'm not engaging in a No True Scotsman fallacy.

So please leave the LDS Cult of False Expectations.

Not the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Guest Posting at the Juvenile Instructor

Matt Bowman, who is the author of one of the textbooks I'm using in my class on Mormonism this semester, has invited me to do a guest stint about teaching the class at the Juvenile Instructor blog. You can read the first entry here. I won't be posting here on my personal blog every time I put something there, but this link ought to get you to all of my posts, as they go up.

R.I.P. Bob Anderson, Swordfight Dude Extraordinaire

Who's Bob Anderson? Why would I write a post about him?

Well, as you read this obituary of his from the NY Times you will realize that he's the man behind pretty much all best sword fight scenes ever. Heck, the guy played Darth Vader during the lightsaber duels for Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi!


One of the reasons I didn't like the new Star Wars movies was precisely because of the lightsaber fights. Sure, they were faster, more frenetic, and probably better on a technical level, but there was no story told in them. I must agree with Aint-It-Cool-News' Quint that, "while the prequel saber duels are epic at times I have to say Mr. Anderson put more character in a simple parry in Star Wars, Empire or Jedi than you see in the entire massively choreographed fights in the prequels."

It was largely because of him that the Lightsaber is the coolest weapon.

Ever.


But now he has died. And while there will be many swordfights in movies for centuries to come, part of me feels that they won't be as cool. After all, he did (get ready for a trip down memory lane):

Star Wars



The Pirates of the Caribbean


The Princess Bride


Highlander: The TV Series


The Mask of Zorro


The Lord of the Rings


Think of how different those swordfights all are. From the emotional gravitas of The Empire Strikes Back to the whimsy of The Princess Bride to the realism of The Lord of the Rings, Bob Anderson knew how to tell a story in a duel. I've enjoyed many of his choreographed duels. It's sad that I won't ever do so again.