Saturday, January 4, 2014

Resolutions 2014

Last year my resolution was to suffer fools more gladly. I think that I accomplished this better, though I am still far from perfect. (Susan said that she learned to tell when I went into "poker face" mode when teaching gospel doctrine, and I actually did follow the manual, despite my view that it represents everything I dislike about the correlated material we are supposed to teach out of for church. In my opinion, it's the worst manual currently produced by the church, but I have high hopes that by the time the D&C rolls around again the new approach to teaching that doesn't require worldwide synchrony will have kicked in.)

This year, I'm sad to say, I have to go cliche. I try in general to avoid the "lose weight, get healthy" kind of new year's goals because a) they are cliche, and b) I can't stick to them. But I feel that I need to this year. The High Priest's Group Leader in my ward keeps wondering when I'll rejoin him in wearing non-white shirts. As soon as I lose enough weight that I fit into them, I will. (My bishop thinks I'm wearing white shirts because of my new calling. That was true for a few weeks, and then I returned to normal. Sadly, during those weeks was when I gained enough weight to no longer fit into the other shirts.)

So how to make a goal, and then how to stick to it? Well, a friend of mine, Sunni, had a similar situation last year. I don't recall all the details, but the basic gist was this. She had to accomplish something at work, and needed some incentive. So her boss made her give him a $200 check to Glen Beck, and if she didn't accomplish the objective by such-and-such a date, he would mail it.

She accomplished the objective. He gave her the check back. She tore it up.


So here is my new year's contract with Susan: 

1. Calorie Goal. 

  • Eat less than 2000 calories every day of the calendar year 2014. For every day that I eat more    than 2000 calories, I must put $0.25 into a fund. The money is to be taken from my iPad fund, which currently has $150 in it. 
  • I am allowed one cheat day, to be determined by me, every week. The number of calories consumed that day do not matter.
  • A “day” is defined as the period of time between when I get up and when I go to bed. It’s kind of the opposite of a Jewish day, that begins at sundown and goes until the next sundown. Because while the world itself doesn’t actually revolve around me, my world, of course, does.
  • A “week” is defined as Sunday-Saturday, for the purposes of determining “cheat days."
  • If I do eat over 2000 calories and am forced to put $0.25 into the fund, that $0.25 donation can be removed by 10 straight days of meeting the goal—cheat days are exempt from the 10 day count.
  • Vacation Days where I am traveling or somewhere I don’t have complete control over my food do not count. I am, however, to try to make an effort to eat less on those days
2. At the end of the year, all of the money donated to the fund will be sent in a check to the National Rifle Association, who I detest for making the conversation about guns in this nation so politically toxic and for killing gun bills that 90% of Americans agree on. 

3. Other Goal. To be determined, in consultation with N, R, Xan, just some “buddy” on a similar system. Receive some positive reward (something different, yet substantive) for meeting a particular health goal (for me probably passing the air force fitness test). I’ll update this as the final deal is worked out. 

4. Do the Zombie Run this year in Baltimore. “Survive” the zombie apocalypse. This cannot be the health goal for number 3. Anybody in the area want to join me? 

5. With Susan’s permission, this contract may be altered. (For example, if I make it to a weight goal of some kind, perhaps we can up it to 2500 calories a day, more of a maintenance diet than one for weight loss). Susan is the arbiter of this contract, which can only be changed at the end of a month.

Signed as of January 1, 2014. 


nathalia said...

Oh laws. Love this as well! I'll have to share with Marc and he will help me set some health goal with monetary rewards in tact. I like your system!

MEL said...

Maybe if you simply committed to wearing white shirts to church all the time you'd get extra help! ;)